Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize