What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
