I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
