I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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