you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
