i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
