Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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