just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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