you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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