Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
