the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
