Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
