drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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