physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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