If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
