its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
