I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
