I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
