I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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