coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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