Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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