There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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