And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As shirtless as possible
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
