I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
