I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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