I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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