dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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