Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
