What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
