apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I FOUND THE LEGS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
