your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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