i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
