some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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