i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
