SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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