Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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