I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
