She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
