Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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