she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
