remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it hurts more in the daytime
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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