It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
