I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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