I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
