I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize