How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
