I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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