it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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