this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize