watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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