How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Vodka?
Forever.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
