Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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