new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
