i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
