Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
