i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just gift wrapped bread.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I believe in your delicious
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
