I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My pussy is not your playground.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
