hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize