When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize