physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I still have a little drunk in my system
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
