Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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