You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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