He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
