I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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